The Cruel World Read online

  As we walk, West grabs onto my hand and I try not to read too much into it as everybody groups up. Nobody else is holding hands, of course.

  I hold hands with all the guys on my team. It’s not even a big deal. But for some reason, when West holds my hand, my heart can’t seem to understand that it’s not a big deal. He isn’t holding my hand because he’s in love with me—he’s just trying to make sure I keep up with him. Knowing me, I’d trip over a rock and fall off a cliff. He’s just being a good friend and making sure I don’t die.

  We walk a mile uphill. I’m grateful for the time I spend running on the treadmill every week because I’d probably be dying if not. When we run in the mornings, it’s flat. The only way I get an incline is by running on the treadmill.

  At the top of the cliff, there sits a single home. It’s a one-story modern house with lots of windows. It’s at the top of the mountain with gorgeous views of the Atlantic Ocean.

  I sigh. “Can we move here?”

  West chuckles. “Maybe someday we can get a vacation home here.”

  ‘We’ as in the team? Or ‘we’ as in him and I?

  Obviously he meant the team.

  We stop a little way from the house, far enough away that security cameras can’t see us. Ian is on his phone, looking at something, and I notice Cole doing the same. I wonder if Cole is the computer hacker of their team.

  “Security cameras are officially off. We probably have ten minutes or so before they figure out it’s on a loop,” Ian says.

  “I shut off the alarm,” Cole says.

  Jensen grins. “Look at us—all working together.”

  West rolls his eyes. “You heard Ian. We’ve got less than ten minutes to get in there and get this done. Let’s move.”

  At West’s authoritative voice, we all move to do exactly what he said. We know what we’re here to do. This job is important. Rivalries are officially set aside as we work together to do what Michael Sinclair sent us here to do.

  Everybody splits up into the respective teams, me with West. He keeps me close as we approach the house. We come to it from the side, where there are a lot of trees to shield us. I want to look out at the gorgeous view, but that can wait until later. Right now, I have to stay focused.

  West stops at the last tree before we reach the house and turns to me. I wonder what he’s thinking, but I don’t dare speak since we’re so close to the door.

  This is it—we’re about to go in and do this mission.

  Every mission is dangerous. All the training in the world can’t prepare us for every possible outcome. Sometimes, things go wrong. This is a dangerous job. And when you’re going up against assassins, it’s always the scariest. There are five of them. And sure, there are eight of us, but what if one of them gets the drop on one of us? I can’t bear the thought of losing a team member today. Apparently West feels the same because he pulls me against him and gives me a tight hug. It only lasts for a few seconds and then he pulls back. With his hand still in mine, he pulls me forward and we walk into the house.

  I’m not sure what I expected us to do—maybe I thought we’d go in through the window like last time. But West just walks into the house like he owns it. We end up walking into a mud/laundry room. The door that leads into the next part of the house is shut. West puts his ear up to the door to listen and I do the same. I hear voices coming from somewhere, but it’s hard to tell where. I know that it’s a little way from where we are. West pulls out his gun and motions me to do the same.

  “You ready?” West whispers once I have my gun in hand.

  I nod.

  He opens the door slowly, walking out first. He steps slightly, trying not to make a sound, and I follow his lead. Right now would be a really bad time to trip over something, so I focus carefully on each step I take while also looking around for anybody sneaking up on us.

  West comes to a stop, so I look up and see that there is a guy sitting in a computer room. There are a bunch of screens in front of him, and I realize that he’s watching cameras. They have them everywhere, even in the house. These people are paranoid. Well, for good reason. They should have known that Spy School would come after them.

  West walks in first, not making a sound as he steps. The guy is facing away from us and doesn’t even look our way as we come in. He’s obviously not well trained or he would’ve known we entered the room. West is able to walk right up to him and put his gun against the back of the guy’s head.

  “Hands up,” West says quietly.

  The guy stiffens, but he listens, raising his arms in the air. West tells him to stand, which he does, and West pushes him forward until he’s against the wall.

  “I have zip ties in my pocket. Pull them out and tie this guy up,” West instructs me.

  I reach into his back pocket and do as he instructed. I tie the guy up. He’s literally trembling as I tie him up. Once he’s tied up and West has taken all his weapons off him, I realize that the guy is just a kid—probably sixteen or seventeen. I wonder what he’s doing wrapped up in all of this, but that isn’t for me to know. We are just capturing everybody. Another team is going to be questioning them.

  A shot rings out in the house somewhere. West eyes widen and he looks at me.

  “You stay here with him, I’m going to go see what’s going on,” West says. “Keep your gun out.”

  I nod at him to let him know I heard his instruction. I will be staying here with the guy we tied up. Last time I ignored what West asked me to do, Kal got shot. We’re lucky it wasn’t any worse than it was. Today, nothing could make me defy his order.

  “Are you going to kill me?” The boy asks, once West is out of the room. His voice is trembling.

  “Not unless you do something stupid,” I answer.

  I really hope he doesn’t try to do something stupid. I’ve never killed somebody before and I’d rather today not be the day that changes.

  Killing people is sometimes part of the job. If it came down to him or me, I’d have to do it. I just don’t really like the thought of taking somebody’s life, even if they’re evil.

  This boy doesn’t seem evil, but I know appearances can be deceiving. I’m glad that it won’t be me who is judging him.

  “You’re kind of pretty to be a spy,” the boy says.

  I ignore him, not wanting to make conversation with him. He could be trying to distract me.

  I flinch as I hear another shot go off in the house. I hope that the guys are all right.

  “You went to Spy School, right?” the boy continues. “I’m sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous. It’s just you seem young to have graduated already. I’m still in training—not at Spy School, but at Espionage Academy. I, was, uh, in a gang. Espionage Academy saved me from a horrible life.” He sighs. “But I suppose that won’t matter now, ‘cause you guys are going to kill me.”

  I huff, not turning to look at him. I keep my eyes on the door. “We’re not going to kill you. We’re taking you in for questioning. If you didn’t do anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about.”

  The young guy starts to say something else when another shot goes off.

  I want to go out there and see what is going on, but I won’t go. I am going to listen to West this time. Only bad things happen when I defy his orders.

  Footsteps echo down the hallway and I aim my gun toward the door, ready for anybody to walk through. A few seconds later, Kal sticks his head through.

  “There you are.” He strolls into the room casually.

  “What’s going on out there?” I drop my gun to my side, but I stay alert, ready to shoot if the situation arises.

  “We got them.” He points a finger toward another part of the house.

  “Okay.” I relax a bit. “West and I got one.”

  “Nice.” He grins, looking at the time on his phone. “And it’s only noon—we’ve got the rest of the day to explore.”

  “Really?” Excitement bubbles up in me at the thought of exploring the island. It’s
my first time to ever come to the Virgin Islands.

  Kal is casual as he helps the young boy from the room and I follow behind him, feeling good.

  I listened to orders this time. Certainly that means West is going to be okay with me now, right?

  Finally, I’m going to be part of the team.

  Am I not good enough?

  One of the first things that you see in town is a ski lift. Well, it’s not a ski lift. It’s called a Skyride. It takes you up a huge mountain. Apparently, there are incredible views from the top, so we all buy tickets to catch a ride up. While we’re waiting for our turn, we get some ice cream.

  Ian sits down beside me. “Hey, Roxy. You did good today.”

  I beam at him. “Thank you.”

  For once, I’m being complimented and not blamed. Though, to be fair, last time it was my fault.

  “You want to ride up with me?” he asks.

  I nod. “Absolutely.”

  Honestly, riding with Ian will probably be for the best. I was worried I’d end up on the ski lift with Cole, Rook, or worse, Jensen. Part of me was hoping I’d end up with West, but that’s silly. West, I’m sure, would go out of his way to make sure he doesn’t have to ride with me. Still, butterflies fill my stomach at the thought. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I like him a lot.

  “What flavor did you get?” Ian motions toward my ice cream.

  “Chocolate.”

  He wrinkles his nose. “Really? That’s so boring.”

  “Then I choose to be boring. I love chocolate.” I spoon another bite in my mouth. “What did you get?”

  “Double fudge and peanut butter swirl.”

  “Gross.” I spoon another bite in my mouth.

  “Do you not like peanut butter?”

  “Not in my ice cream.”

  Ian laughs.

  We finish up our ice cream, throwing the cups into the trash. Right as we’re done, it’s our turn to ride up the mountain. West doesn’t say a word as Ian and I get onto the lift together and my stomach sinks with disappointment. Part of me would hope he would demand that I ride with him, but that would be silly.

  I look off the side, only seeing trees at first.

  “This is nice.” Ian puts his arm behind me.

  “Yeah, it is.” I grin at him.

  I really shouldn’t sulk. Ian is a great companion.

  “I feel like we’ve hardly seen each other since we got back from Thanksgiving.” He rubs my shoulder with his thumb.

  I sigh, glancing toward him. “I know. West has me working twenty-four seven on the stupid Royal Games stuff. I feel like he’s taking it way too seriously.”

  Ian chuckles. “That’s West for you. He’s competitive. He lives for this kind of stuff.”

  “True.” I look back out the side.

  “Hey, Roxy?” Ian asks.

  “Hmm?” I finally see some water over the trees.

  He plays with a strand of my hair. “There is something that I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. I’ve wanted to get you alone for this, but I think this is as alone as we’re going to get for a while.”

  I furrow my brows, looking toward him. “What is it?”

  He looks from me, out the window, then back at me. “I’m nervous. Is that stupid?”

  “Why are you nervous?” I ask.

  He sighs. “Because I’m not sure you feel the same.”

  I swallow hard, my heart sinking. I pray that he’s not talking about what I think he’s talking about. “Ian, you can talk to me about everything. We’re friends.”

  Good friends.

  And I really hope he’s not about to screw that up.

  “Friends,” he mumbles, pushing his glasses further up his nose. His baby blue eyes meet mine. “That’s what I want to talk to you about. I kind of don’t want to be friends.”

  My eyes widen. “What? Why not? What did I do wrong?”

  Great—I made another Royal hate me.

  “Wait. I didn’t mean it like that,” he says quickly. “I mean—” he pauses, taking a deep breath. He angles his body toward me. “Roxy, what I mean to say is, I like you. And I mean that I like you as more than a friend.”

  The oxygen leaves my lungs as I look at Ian. His baby blue eyes are looking at me with such longing. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed the way he looks at me before. I knew that Ian liked me, he’s told me before. But when he told me, everybody was mad at me—everybody hated me. It wasn’t an issue then. Besides, I thought I might have liked him then. But now, I know how I feel. And my feelings for Ian aren’t as strong as I thought they maybe could be. I like him as a friend. It’s West who owns my heart, though I wish he didn’t.

  I lick my lips. “Look, Ian, I like you. I do. But—”

  “You don’t feel the same.” He sinks back into his chair, pulling his arm away from me. “I should’ve known that a girl like you could never like a guy like me. I told you… I’m the guy a girl feels obligated to hang out with so her friend can hang out with Kal, Alek, or West.”

  “It’s not like that!” I insist. “You’re a catch, Ian. And someday a girl is going to see that. But that girl can’t be me. We’re on the same team. I can’t date anybody on our team.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “Does that mean you’re completely forgetting about the kisses you shared with Kal, Alek, and West.”

  “A kiss is just a kiss,” I say. “And I only kissed Kal and Alek the one time. It’s not like I’m dating them. What you’re talking about is a relationship—one that would ruin our team if things went badly.”

  “You only kissed Kal and Alek one time?” Ian asks. “Does that mean you’ve kissed West more than once?”

  I chew on my lip, trying to figure out what to say. I don’t want to lie, but West asked me not to tell the rest of the guys. I didn’t mean to tell Ian—it just slipped out.

  Ian huffs. “I can’t believe you. West doesn’t even like you. Why are you obsessing over a guy you can’t have when I’m here telling you that I’m in love with you?”

  My heart stops. “You’re in love with me?”

  “Yes!” Ian looks at me with such anguish in his eyes.

  “Ian—”

  His entire face drops. “You really don’t feel the same, do you?”

  I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine.” He crosses his arms over his chest and turns to face away from me.

  I rub at my chest, willing the ache to go away. I try to search for words to say, but there are no words that I could say to make this better. Ian just got his heart broken and it’s all my fault.

  Ian is the sweetest guy on the team. He’s the most loyal. And all I ever seem to do is hurt him. I hurt him when I got Kal shot, I hurt him at Fight Club when that random guy kissed me, and I hurt him now. But what choice did I have? I had to tell him the truth. He deserves to know the truth.

  “Ian,” I say, desperate to say something to make things better. I just want things to go back to the way they were.

  “Not now, Roxy.” He doesn’t even turn to look at me as the words leave his lips.

  Tears well up and as hard as I try to not let them fall, I can’t hold them back. They roll down my cheek and I turn the opposite way of Ian, wiping them away with the back of my hand.

  “Am I really not good enough?” Ian whispers.

  “It’s not that, Ian. You are good enough.” My voice breaks. “If anybody isn’t good enough, it’s me. I’m not good enough for you.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Roxy.”

  As soon as the Skyride comes to a stop, he jumps off, nearly stumbling on his cast, and he uses his crutches to walk briskly away from me. My heart breaks because I know I’ve just hurt Ian badly.

  Why couldn’t I feel the same way about him as he does about me? That would be easy. Loving Ian should be easy. But I know I don’t feel the same way. If I told him I did, I’d end up hurting him worse in the end.

  I can’t even enjoy the view
s of St. Thomas. When we head back down the mountain, I get stuck with Jensen, who flirts with me the whole way down. As soon as we get off, West glares at me.

  Whatever progress that I’ve made since joining this team was just utterly and completely ruined.

  Why do I feel like it’s all my fault?

  Maybe now he’ll get the hint.

  After the Skyride, we head into town and check out the touristy shops. Since it’s later in the day, the crowds are starting to die down a bit as people head back to the port to get on their cruise ships.

  While we walk around, Ian literally can’t stand to be anywhere near me. I’ve tried to get near him so I can talk to him, even though I’m not sure what I would say, but he always makes sure there are at least twenty feet between us—or West. He knows I won’t talk to him in front of West.

  Kal nudges me with his elbow, holding up a shirt. “What do you think of this?”

  The shirt is black tie dye with a picture of an iguana on the front of it. There is a sticker claiming it ‘glows in the dark.’

  His eyes light up as he holds up a second shirt. “They have a pink one too! We can have matching shirts!”

  “You want to have matching shirts?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “Uh, yeah.” He nods his head enthusiastically.

  “Fine, but you’re buying,” I say.

  “Yes!” He heads toward the check out with our matching shirts and I just stand there, shaking my head.

  I wonder if he’s going to make me wear those shirts in public. I might regret saying yes.

  Somebody else comes up beside me and I look up, expecting to see Alek or West. I jump when I see Jensen standing there.

  “You scared me.” I put a hand to my racing heart.

  “What’s going on with you and the hacker?”

  I follow Jensen’s line of sight to where Ian is standing with West. He’s got a frown on his face and his arms are crossed over his chest. When he glances over at me and sees me looking, he narrows his eyes, quickly turning away.