Trust Page 6

  “I know,” I say. “It’s okay.”

  It’s not okay.

  But I have to be okay.

  “If it gets to be too much at any point, tell me,” he says.

  I swallow hard.

  Oh, gosh.

  Today is going to be a hard day.

  Staring.

  Cam was right. I mean, he generally is always right, not that I’d ever admit that to him. The guy is arrogant enough without me feeding his ego.

  When I walk into the dining hall with him, everybody is staring.

  I didn’t eat breakfast at home this morning since I knew he was coming to get me early. I kind of wanted to eat with the guys. Somehow, eating cereal alone at the tiny table in Zach’s kitchen just doesn’t sound like fun. Though, I’m kind of regretting that a little bit now, because every single eye is on me.

  After I grab a latte and a banana, I wait for Cam to get his food, and then we head back to the table. I hope that people will get bored quickly. I mean, how interesting is it to watch a girl drink a coffee and eat fruit?

  “Is that all you’re going to eat?” Stefan asks when we get to the table.

  “I’m not that hungry,” I say, which is the truth. My stomach is in knots over the attention that I’m getting from the other Spy School students.

  The guys know I don’t like attention and they know why I don’t like attention, so they’re all giving me sympathetic looks, but it’s not like they can do anything about it. If they told everybody to stop staring at me, it would just make the situation worse. I just have to suck it up and get through the day. Eventually people will move on to whatever else catches their attention. This isn’t LA and they aren’t the paparazzi. They’re my peers.

  “You look different today,” Austin says, looking at me curiously.

  “It’s her hair,” Cam says, like he’s proud that he knows what’s ‘different.’

  “Ah,” I hear a few of them say.

  I laugh at them, momentarily forgetting the people around me who are staring.

  I take a drink of my coffee and look up to see that the boys are all staring at me, too.

  “What?” I ask, wiping at my face. “Do I have something on my face?”

  “No,” Dylan says. “You’re fine.”

  “Your face looks softer today for some reason,” Tristan says. “I think it’s the ponytail. You look like a cheerleader in every high school movie, ever.”

  “Should I take my hair down?” I ask, not sure if what Tristan is saying is a compliment or not.

  “No, it’s cute,” he says. “Leave it.”

  “Okay,” I say, hoping that they don’t keep staring at me, too. That would be a nightmare. “I was a cheerleader for, like, a week once.”

  “Really?” Cam asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Really,” I say. “It was kind of dumb. But there was this independent cheerleading group for homeschooled kids in our neighborhood. We weren’t even cheering for a team. Basically, it was a bunch of rich, entitled kids with famous parents. My mom thought it would be great for me to join. I was thirteen at the time and still had braces, plus, I was super awkward and didn’t have friends. So naturally, she thought this was the best way for me to make friends.”

  “That sounds horrible,” Dylan says.

  Of course, he thinks so, because he knows me well.

  My mom never understood me, and always tried to get me to do things that she would have enjoyed at my age.

  “What happened?” Stefan asks.

  “It turns out that I’m not good at group activities,” I say. “Especially when this bossy girl from down the street tried to tell me what to do. I punched her in the face and gave her a bloody nose. Since her mom was in charge of the group, I got kicked out. I can’t say I was disappointed about not being forced to go to daily practices, anymore.”

  “That’s horrible,” Austin says. “You had every right to be there, just as much as the girl who harassed you.”

  “Maybe,” I say. “But the group disbanded after they bombed hard in their first competition. I heard it was pretty brutal, so I’m glad I got kicked out.”

  I finish off the last of my banana and coffee. The guys keep me talking until the end of breakfast, making me forget about everybody who was staring.

  They’re good at making these horrible situations not so bad.

  The six of us walk to class together, the guys forming a protective circle around me. If anybody was brave enough to approach me, they’d have to go through them first. Judging by the way everybody gets out of the way as we walk down the hallway, I don’t think I’m going to have a problem.

  I’ve always known the guys are awesome, but I’ve wondered how everybody else sees them.

  Spy School is full of amazing people. We’re talking about students who have been trained from birth to become spies, assassins, and the world’s most dangerous and elite group. Nobody here is bad at what they do. But my guys, they seem like they’re the top of their class. The best among the literal best.

  But then, there is me. A shy, awkward girl who didn’t know a world like this even existed before showing up at the school just over a month ago. And while I am praised for being amazing, I still am the bottom of the chain here.

  Well...

  Besides the fact that I am the second girl ever to pass torture training, but that was just a fluke. It had to be.

  Still, they chose me to be on their team, and while it’s a pretty sweet deal for me, I think they’re getting the short end of the stick.

  Austin, who is standing beside me, reaches over to grab my hand. Maybe he can tell how nervous I am because of all the stares, but the gesture comforts me and I am able to relax and not think so much on the way to our class.

  I haven’t been in class since last Friday and I am excited to be back. I don’t like missing, though I guess I technically wasn’t absent.

  Spy School is more about hands on training than it is about in classroom training, which I like. I feel like I’m learning stuff that will help me later in life.

  I sit down in my usual seat by Cam. He’s the only one I get to sit by in this class, because of the assigned seating.

  When Mr. Brown gets to class, he announces that there will be a pop quiz and everybody groans. But I’m excited.

  Cam looks over at me and smirks.

  I can’t help but think about my first day here. Cam didn’t like me so much then. He says he did, but I’m not so sure about that. He certainly didn’t act like it.

  I’ve come a very long way—from being that scared, lost girl, to being hated, and now to finally feeling like I belong to something. I feel like every moment of my life was leading up to being here.

  So, even though I am overwhelmed by the attention, and even though I feel like I am literally drowning, I think I’m going to be okay. As long as I have my boys by my side, how could things not work out?

  Pretend.

  Ezra isn’t in my human behavior class anymore. I knew it was coming, he was just planted there for my torture training, but it’s still weird.

  I wait until very last minute to walk into my class, not wanting to talk to any of the students right now. I realize that last week Ezra only talked to me because he was trying to make some kind of connection with me before we were locked in a tiny cell for torture training. But the last thing I want is for the other students to ask me about torture training.

  Dr. Stevens is turning out to be a far better teacher than I ever imagined. Today, we are learning what signs to look for when somebody is lying. She says that once we know the signs, we will pick up on when somebody is lying, even subconsciously.

  I’ve always been pretty good at telling if somebody is lying, so I find this lesson fascinating. She says some people just have a sixth sense to pick up on lies—maybe I am one of those has it.

  “Study this week,” Dr. Stevens says at the end of class. “There will be a test.”

  Everybody starts gathering their bo
oks. I stuff my own inside my messenger bag and look at the door to see Cam standing just outside the doorframe. He smiles when he sees me and I walk over to him.

  “Hey, you here for babysitting duty?” I ask.

  “You say it like it’s a bad thing,” he says. “I look forward to the days when it’s my turn to be your chauffeur.”

  I’m about to say something back when I hear somebody walk up behind me.

  “Zara, hey.”

  I turn around to see a blonde girl smiling brightly at me. I think her name is Phoebe or something.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “I wanted to talk to you,” she says. “You always seem so busy. Do you have a minute?”

  Her eyes shift to Cam, then back to me.

  “Oh, he’s fine. He’s my ride,” I say. “I have a minute. What’s up?”

  She looks at Cam again, then back to me. She smiles, but I can tell it’s forced.

  Does Cam intimidate her?

  I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He’s over a foot taller than I am and he’s our team leader for a reason. He’s good at being the boss. I was intimidated by him at first, until I got to know him.

  “I know that you’ve already joined team,” she says. “But I really think you should consider joining my team. You’ve only been here a month, and you haven’t gotten to properly get to know everybody. And your team is great, but so is my team. And we’re all girls.”

  “I really like the team I’m on,” I say, trying to let her down easy.

  “Look, I think you could really do some good on my team. All girl teams do amazing things that guy teams can’t,” she says. “Over the summer, my team got to help this other girl team bring down a ring of sex trafficking. It was incredible. Before you turn me down, think about it. I don’t need your answer now.”

  That does sound incredible.

  But I know that my team is going to do amazing things, too.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t need to think about it. I’ve found where I want to be. I appreciate the offer, though.”

  “Okay,” she says, frowning. “If you change your mind, let me know. The offer is a standing one.”

  “Thanks,” I say.

  She says goodbye and then walks off, leaving me there with Cam. I turn around to face him. He didn’t say one word during the whole exchange, which isn’t like him. I figured he would butt in and tell the girl off for even asking me to join her team.

  “You ready to get home?” he asks.

  Is he not going to even say a word about what just went down?

  “I’m ready,” I say.

  The two of us walk side by side, in silence, out to the car.

  Cam is never quiet, so it worries me that he’s being quiet tonight.

  Once we are on the road, I turn to him.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “I’m fine,” he says.

  “You’re just really quiet.”

  He shrugs, not responding at all.

  “Did I do something wrong?” I ask.

  “No. Of course not,” he says.

  “Then what’s wrong?” I ask.

  He remains quiet.

  “I had to have done something wrong,” I say. “Just tell me, please.”

  He sighs. “It’s not you.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “No,” he says.

  “Then what could possibly be wrong?”

  “It’s just... that girl...”

  “Phoebe?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says.

  “I told her that I don’t want to join her team and I meant it, Cam,” I say. “No matter how great another team may make themselves sound, I am here to stay. You five guys aren’t just my team—you’re my family. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “But what if you do someday?” he asks. “She’s right. You’ve only known us a month. That isn’t enough time.”

  “You five had known each other the same amount of time when you decided to be a team,” I say.

  “Yeah, but that’s different,” he says.

  “How is it different?” I ask.

  “Because... you’re... amazing,” Cam says. “I saw it the first day. The guys and I decided the very first day we met you that we wanted you on our team. We knew it was only a matter of time before the others saw it. Now that they do... Phoebe isn’t going to be the only one to approach you. The only reason nobody else approached you today is because you were surrounded by the five of us all day. But that won’t always be the case.”

  “My answer will be the same for them all,” I say. “I’m so happy where I am. There is no way I ever would switch teams. I love you guys too much for that.”

  Cam pulls the SUV in front of my house and shuts it off, but neither of us move to get out of the car.

  “How do you know that you won’t want to say yes to somebody else?” he asks.

  “Because none of those other teams have you,” I say. “Or Tristian. Or Dylan. Or Austin. Or Stefan. Which means that those other teams, while they might be nice, they aren’t for me, because I belong with you.”

  “But...”

  I cut him off. “You’re not this person. In fact, you’re one of the most confident people that I know. Why are you suddenly being so insecure?”

  “I’ve also never met anybody like you,” he says. “I’m worried that you will wake up one day and realize that we’re not... that I’m not... as amazing as you think.”

  “I worry the same thing,” I say, casting my gaze down. “You guys have given up so much to have me on your team and I’m worried that you will regret it.”

  “Zara,” Cam says.

  I look up at him.

  “You are the absolute best thing that has ever happened to the team,” he says. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I promise you that we will never regret anything.”

  “How can you be sure?” I ask.

  “I just am,” he says.

  “Then you should know that I am sure that I could never join another team,” I say.

  “Touché.”

  I grin, loving that I have won our ‘argument.’

  “Look, nothing in life is certain,” I say. “There are always going to be things that happen that we don’t see coming. But the six of us are strong. We are going to work through everything and come out stronger in the end. We’re not quitters.”

  He nods.

  “Now, we should go inside so Zach can stop looking out the window at our car,” I say.

  Cam laughs. “We should pretend to make out and see if he comes out.”

  I know he’s kidding, but my heart still races at his words.

  Do I want to kiss Cam?

  I already know the answer, but I refuse to allow my brain to go there.

  I unbuckle my seatbelt, shaking my head at him. “You are so bad.”

  Friday, October 5

  Nerds.

  Stefan stands on the other side of my front door holding an energy drink in his hand. As soon as I open the door, he hands it over to me. I gladly accept it, grinning at him. He knows the way to my heart is through delicious, sugary drinks.

  Yes, I know energy drinks are bad for you. My mom used to be on me about it all the time. But I don’t have them often, just as a treat. Also, I’m pretty sure being heavily caffeinated is a prerequisite for being a high school or a college student.

  “You are an angel,” I say, popping it open and taking a drink.

  “You ready to go?” he asks.

  I nod, grabbing my messenger bag from the hook by the door.

  Zach has already left for the day, so I lock the door on my way out, after making sure that I have my keys in my bag. Though, I have a feeling that all the guys have a key to my house if I ever were to get locked out.

  Stefan opens the passenger side door for me.

  I swear, every single one of these guys is such a gentleman.

  In LA, people just don’t open the door for each other
. Though, to be fair, if we did we’d probably be standing there all day because it’s so busy. But people just aren’t ‘friendly’ for no reason. Ever.

  In movies, guys always open the doors for girls when they’re on a date, but I’ve never been on a date with a guy before, so I’m not sure if this really happens or if it’s just something they put in movies.

  When I get in, I put on my seatbelt as Stefan walks around to the driver’s side.

  My favorite time of the day is always the time in the morning when I get to spend one on one time with one of the guys. I feel like we’re always so busy that we don’t get to spend time alone.

  “I won’t get to drive you home tonight,” Stefan says, as we drive towards the school.

  “Why not?” I ask, taking another sip of my energy drink. It’s already half gone and I’m already feeling it.

  “We are helping another team with a case tonight,” he says. “Everybody except Cam, Tristan and you are going to be off campus tonight.”

  “What am I going to be doing?” I ask.

  “Helping Tristan,” he says.

  I frown.

  It’s not that I don’t want to help Tristan, that’s not it. I just don’t think I’ll be much help for Tristan. I imagine it’ll be just me watching him work and I’ll ask questions, and that’s pretty much it.

  “If it wasn’t you helping him, the rest of us would’ve had to draw straws,” Stefan says. “Plus, until you finish your physical training, you can’t go out on cases like this.”

  “Ah,” I say. “I guess that makes sense. It just sucks.”

  “You’re getting a lot stronger,” he says.

  I really am. Though, I have a long way to go before I’m ready. Even a year’s worth of training won’t be enough. These guys have been training their whole life for this.

  “I have a question,” I say, biting my lip. I’m a bit nervous to ask Stefan. He’s the nicest out of all the guys and it’s probably not fair to ask him.

  “What?” he says.

  “Even after I’m trained, do you really think the guys will let me go out on missions that are dangerous?” I ask.