Never Ever (East Raven Academy Book 2) Read online

  I mean, he did kind of say if I wanted to dump Estaine that he’d date me, but a lot has happened since then—like him finding out my real identity. So, I’d like to think that he isn’t into me like that anymore. We can hope not.

  “Then why does he want to talk?” Emma asks.

  “Because we’re friends,” I answer. “And I told him that we can be friends.”

  As soon as we walk out the doors of our dorm, Sander is standing there. He was waiting for me, and I know why he’s waiting for me, but Teagan and Emma don’t.

  “Hey, Pumpkin,” Sander says.

  I roll my eyes. “Pumpkin is slightly better than Cupcake, I guess. But it still sucks.”

  “Fine. No pumpkin,” he says. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “Hey, Sander,” Teagan says.

  “Hey... Phoenix’s friend,” Sander says. “And her other friend.”

  “I’m Teagan,” she says, sounding slightly hurt.

  “And I’m Emma.”

  “Right,” he says. “There are a lot of names to remember at school.”

  Sander winks at me as he says it. I get the feeling that he does remember their names and just wants them to think he doesn’t. It sounds like something he would do. But if he realized how fragile the teenage girl ego was, he wouldn’t do that.

  “Where is Estaine?” Teagan asks me.

  “I don’t know,” I answer. “Probably on the field getting warmed up. I’ll see him at the game. I wished him good luck before.”

  “And what about Brooks?” Teagan asks. “When are you going to talk to him?”

  “When I see him, I don’t know,” I answer. “It’s not that important.”

  I know exactly what they’re trying to do... what they think they’re doing. They’re trying to make Sander jealous, which is laughable. And part of me wishes I could just tell them the truth. But on the other hand, this is hysterical. Someday, when I am able to tell them the truth, they are going to feel very silly for coming to the conclusions that they have.

  “Sander, I heard Rachel asked you out today,” Emma says.

  “Oh, did you?” Sander asks. He’s smirking. Of course, he is. It’s not like he didn’t know Emma was standing there when he said what he did. And he is clearly amused by our conversation.

  “Yeah,” she says. “She said that you told her you’re holding out hope for somebody else.”

  “Yeah. I’m madly in love with a girl, but she’s dating somebody else,” Sander says.

  I start laughing.

  “Don’t laugh at my love for you,” he says.

  Which makes me laugh harder.

  “You break my heart, Phoenix Underwood. I will never love another girl as much as you,” he says.

  “Just dye your hair black and write emo songs about me,” I say. “You’ll be fine.”

  And even though we are joking, and Emma and Teagan have to see that, I know they are still going to break down every single thing we say, and try to convince me that he really is in love with me.

  If only they knew the truth.

  Friends.

  “Okay... so this Brooks kid is in love with you?”

  Sander and I are sitting on the bleachers, watching the football game between East and West Raven. Emma and Teagan are both nowhere to be seen. Who knows what they're up to. And, I've been trying to explain my relationship with Brooks to Sander for the past five minutes.

  “No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think so,” I say. “We had this crazy love at first sight thing happen. I mean, obviously, it wasn't love. It was attraction. Like, really strong attraction. I mean, I thought he was really cute. And we did the whole text-flirting thing. And our first date was good, but he didn’t kiss me.”

  “And he goes to West Raven, so, while you were having a cyber flirt with Brooks, you were building a real relationship with Estaine?”

  “Pretty much,” I say.

  “But now you're over Brooks?”

  I shrug. “I mean, I am still attracted to him, and I do like him. But I'm dating Estaine. And clearly, I have chosen Estaine over Brooks.”

  “Interesting,” Sander says. “And these two boys are the first boys who have ever shown an interest, right?”

  I nod.

  “Well, it makes more sense now,” he says.

  “What does?” I ask.

  “You. The way you act,” he says. “You act like a girl who is dating her first boyfriend. And it’s because you are.”

  “How am I acting any different than if I’d had several boyfriends?” I ask, feeling a little insecure. I mean, I don’t want to look desperate or something.

  “It’s not a bad thing, kid,” Sander says. “Calm down.”

  “Kid? I’m two years younger than you. Barely,” I say. “I mean, I’ll be seventeen soon.”

  “October twentieth, right?” Sander asks.

  I nod, not surprised that he knows my birthday. I mean, I’m pretty sure he was given a file before he came. Isn’t that how this all works?

  “So, did you have a choice when you came here?” I ask, desperately wanting to change the subject.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, did they just send you here because it’s your job, or did they ask if you wanted to come?” I ask him.

  “Of course, I had a decision,” he says. “I was in New Zealand, working on another case. And when I heard about this specifically, I asked to be put on it.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, I mean, I’m eighteen, so I can pass for a high school student. I graduated a few years ago and have been out in the field for a while, so I know what I’m doing. I am very well trained,” he says. “And I guess your case sounded interesting. After reading your file, I was excited to meet you.”

  “I’m not that interesting. You must be disappointed.”

  “Nah,” he says. “I mean, you do act like a teenaged girl, but I can’t fault you for that, can I? You are a teenaged girl.”

  I act like a teenaged girl?

  I am about to ask him what that means when I spot Brooks walking towards us. I tense up when I spot him.

  “Is that the Brooks guy?” Sander asks.

  “That would be him.”

  “This is going to be fun,” he says.

  Of course Sander thinks this is going to be fun. I’ve learned that he is a sarcastic person who loves to make fun of pretty much everything I do.

  “Phoenix,” Brooks says, sounding out of breath. “I’ve been looking all over for you. I’m glad you’re here. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I say.

  “Can we talk somewhere private?” he asks.

  “Sure,” I answer.

  What I don’t tell him is that Sander is going to follow. But he will soon see that.

  Yeah... privacy is a luxury that I no longer have.

  I follow Brooks to the back of the bleachers. Sander is behind me, of course. And when we come to a stop, Brooks gives Sander a strange look.

  “Dude, can you give us a minute?” Brooks asks.

  “Nope,” Sander says, leaning against a pole. “Please, continue with whatever riveting conversation you were about to have, and pretend I’m not here.”

  Brooks looks at me.

  “Don’t mind him. He’s just my stalker. You’ll get used to him,” I say.

  Sander laughs.

  Brooks doesn’t.

  “He’s my bodyguard,” I say. “Which means he’s basically getting paid to stalk me.”

  “Protect you,” Sander corrects.

  “That, too,” I say. “Just ignore him. Seriously. It’s fine.”

  “Oh,” Brooks says. “I’m glad that you’re safe. I mean, having a bodyguard is good, considering.”

  I nod.

  “You haven’t answered my texts or calls,” Brooks says.

  “Yeah, I’ve kind of been busy,” I say. “Sorry. It wasn’t intentional.”

  Okay, maybe a little intentional.

  “So... your dad is k
ind of a big deal,” Brooks says, rubbing the back of his head with his hand and his body tenses.

  “Yeah. I guess so,” I say. “But that doesn’t make me a big deal.”

  He nods, relaxing his body a bit. Maybe he expected me to act differently now that he knows, or something. “What you’re going through is really scary.”

  “It is,” I say. “And I understand if you don’t want to be my friend because of it. I mean, it’s a lot.”

  “I do want to be your friend, Phoenix,” Brooks says. “I want to be more.”

  “I’m with Estaine.” And I also have my bodyguard with me, so please, please stop.

  “I know,” he says. “And I know you would never be unfaithful to him and I wouldn’t want you to be. I’m just telling you how I feel. If friendship is all that you can offer me, then I will take it. But, please, don’t ignore my calls. I miss you a lot.”

  “I miss you, too,” I say. “And I’m sorry I was ignoring you.”

  “It’s okay,” he says. “Just don’t do it again.”

  “I won’t.”

  “And I’m sorry about the whole kissing you thing,” Brooks says. “I know I’ve already apologized for that, but I feel like I just made things a lot worse for you, and that isn’t what I wanted. If I had known the repercussions, I wouldn’t have done it.”

  “I’ve already forgiven you for the whole kiss thing,” I say.

  “Have you?”

  “Yes. And I promise not to ignore you anymore because of it.”

  “Good,” he says. “So... friends?”

  “Friends.”

  Brooks and I are going to be okay. I mean, I do really like him. I don’t want to let one stupid mistake ruin our friendship. He’s worth more to me than that.

  Here we go.

  After curfew tonight, there is a party at the docks. I can go, as long as I bring Sander. Of course. And I am going.

  West Raven ended up winning the game, but I know the rivalry is all in good fun, so I’m not that disappointed. It was a pretty close game anyway.

  Emma, Teagan and everybody else left earlier. But I had to wait for Sander. He was doing something, and told me I had to wait for him. It’s only about ten minutes later when he knocks the window outside my dorm.

  “You ready?” he asks, when I walk over to the window.

  “Yep.”

  “Do you need help out?”

  I laugh. “I’ve been sneaking out of my window since I got here. I’m a pro...”

  My foot ends up getting stuck and I nearly face plant onto the grass. Sander catches me before I fall down.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  “Yep. Some pro you are,” he says.

  “I never had to sneak out at home,” I say. “Mom never gave me a curfew, or really cared what I did, because I was a good kid.”

  “If only she could see you now.”

  “She would be proud,” I say. “The only time I ever went out at home was when I was with Charlie.”

  “Your stepbrother,” he says.

  “Yeah.”

  “How do you think your mom would feel about the fact that you have two boyfriends?” Sander asks.

  “She’d probably love it.” I roll my eyes. “And Brooks isn’t my boyfriend.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Muffin.”

  I stop walking. “Never, ever... and I mean, ever... call me Muffin.”

  “I’ll work on a better nickname,” he says.

  We start walking again.

  “I wish you wouldn’t try to give me a nickname. I happen to like my real name,” I say. “Phoenix is a good name. Maybe that is what you should call me.”

  “Is that what your boyfriends call you?” Sander asks.

  “Actually, yes. Phoenix is what my boyfriend, just one, calls me,” I say.

  “You are so much fun to mess with,” he says, grinning at me. “Seriously, I could not have gotten a better assignment than this one.”

  “I’m glad you get amusement out of my suffering.”

  “Oh, come on. Even you have to admit it’s weird that you’re friends with that Brooks kid,” Sander says. “I mean, seriously, you’re dating Estaine, and then this Brooks kid kissed you—”

  I cut him off. “Brooks kissed me before I started dating Estaine. And I slapped him for it.”

  “You kissed him back.”

  “Because I was stunned,” I say.

  “Or because you wanted to,” he says. “You shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to kiss him. I mean, like you said, you weren’t dating Estaine then, anyway.”

  “It was my first kiss.”

  And I do feel guilty for kissing him. Sander is right. I did kiss Brooks back. And I do have feelings for Brooks. But I chose to date Estaine. I don’t regret that at all. It’s just; I do have to deal with my feelings for Brooks.

  “It sounds complicated.”

  “It was,” I say. “But I am dating Estaine now. It took me a while to realize that Brooks isn’t... emotionally ready for a relationship. And he’s jealous, which I hate.”

  “Well, you’ve been through a lot. You were kidnapped and separated from your family,” Sander says. “A group of terrorists is after you, so it’s not unreasonable for you to be more mature than your classmates.”

  I shrug. “I try to be normal. But I don’t like the whole high school drama thing. Like, Emma breaking up with Bryce every other day is annoying. And Emma and Teagan love to gossip and I just don’t care, you know? But I feel like I should care. I’m their age.”

  “It’s okay to not be like everybody else,” he says.

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  But I certainly feel like it is wrong to be different.

  I think that’s why I like dating Estaine. He’s not like everybody else. He has been through a lot in the past couple of years, even more than I have, and he doesn’t act like all of our friends.

  When we get out to the docks, I spot my friends around. They’re all scattered—Emma hanging out with Ian, Teagan with Jason. I spot Estaine talking to one of the guys from the football team. When he sees me, he says something to him and then makes his way over.

  “You were awesome today,” I tell him, as he walks up.

  Because he was. He literally scored half of all the points today.

  “Thanks,” he says, then kisses me on the forehead. “Did you talk to Brooks at the game?”

  I nod, loving that Estaine cares enough to ask. Not because he’s jealous, but because he cares about me. “Yeah. He kind of freaked about who my dad is and I told him that I would stop ignoring him. I guess we’re going to be friends. Is that going to be awkward for you?”

  “I already told you that I’m okay with you and Brooks being friends,” Estaine says. “I trust you. And even if I didn’t, you’ve got a shadow that literally never leaves. I’m not worried.”

  “Uh, don’t remind me,” I say, looking over at Sander.

  Sander is a good bodyguard. I think we are kind of becoming friends. But whenever I’m with Estaine, he lets me have time to talk with just him. Or, like, today with Brooks. It’s definitely a good thing.

  “Speaking of, I heard that I’m losing my girlfriend,” Estaine says.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Yeah,” he says, grinning at me. “Apparently you and Sander are going to start dating.”

  “Oh, good grief,” I say. “I swear it’s all Teagan and Emma want to talk about. I’m sure half the school thinks we’re a thing by now. And to make things worse, he called me Pumpkin in front of them.”

  “That’s a good one,” Estaine says to Sander. “I’m gonna have to use it.”

  “Oh, my gosh. You guys suck,” I say. “I’m going to go find Teagan.”

  I hear them laughing as I make my way over to where Teagan is standing. She and Emma are now standing together talking. Ian and Jason are both talking nearby. I don’t have to look back to know that Sander is following me.

  “I need a new boyfriend,” I say.
<
br />   “Why?” Teagan asks.

  “Because mine is making fun of me with Sander,” I say.

  She laughs. “Oh.”

  “Speaking of boyfriends,” I say to Emma, “how is everything with Ian?”

  “Ian is not my boyfriend. I’m not dating anybody for a long time. I’m still trying to get over Bryce,” she says.

  “No better way to get over him than to date somebody else,” Teagan says.

  Normally, I wouldn’t agree with Teagan, but when it comes to Bryce and Emma, maybe that would be best. She needs to move on from him. And if that means dating another guy now, then I’m all for it.

  “Speaking of Bryce...” Teagan says.

  I look up and see Bryce making his way over to us.

  Oh, great.

  Here we go.

  “So, you’re with Ian now?” Bryce asks.

  “I’m not with anybody,” Emma says.

  “I heard you were kissing him,” Bryce says.

  “Yeah, and I saw you kissing another girl. We’re broken up, so what does it matter?”

  At this point, I back away, because I’ve heard their arguments enough to have them memorized. It’s always the same thing. Emma is like, you suck, I hate you, why did you cheat on me? And Bryce is like, I love you, let’s get back together. And that’s it. They get back together. And then Bryce does something stupid and the cycle starts all over again.

  “It must suck to be in a relationship that miserable,” I say to Sander.

  “I wouldn’t know, but I agree,” he says.

  I watch as Ian walks over to where Emma and Bryce are talking. Yikes. This isn’t going to be good.

  “If Estaine and I are ever like that, slap me,” I say.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Bryce shove Ian. It only takes a second for Estaine and Jason, both, to step in. Obviously, they’re siding with Ian on this one. But still...

  Emma starts crying and yelling at Bryce.

  “Can we just go back to the dorm?” I ask Sander. “I’m so over this tonight.”

  “Okay,” Sander says. “You wanna tell Estaine that you’re going?”

  I look over at him. He’s currently standing between Bryce and Emma, trying to calm Bryce down.

  “Eh, I’ll text him,” I say.

  “Okay,” Sander says.