The Cruel World Read online

  I take a deep breath. “Can you guys sit down?”

  To my surprise, all four of them take a seat, even Ian. Sure, Ian still sits in the seat furthest from where I am standing. He sits in the only single chair in the room—probably so I can’t sit beside him. But he’s not running away from me right now and that is progress.

  Once everyone is sitting, I clear my throat, wondering how to I should start this conversation.

  “What happened today sucks,” I say, going with what is on my heart. “You can’t just feed somebody something that they’re allergic to. I thought I was going to die.”

  “I’m sorry,” West says.

  “I’m sorry, too,” Kal mumbles.

  “Me, too,” Alek says.

  Ian grunts. “Same.”

  Well… that’s a start.

  “You can’t do that to me again—not even when you’re mad at me.”

  The guys all cast their gaze down.

  I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “It doesn’t even make sense for you guys to be mad at me. I didn’t ask for Rook, Jensen, and Cole to invite me to their team. And I told them no to begin with. I never wanted to join them in the first place. I couldn’t leave you guys—not after all we’ve been through.”

  “That’s on me, Princess. Not them.” West points to himself. “If you’re going to take this out on anybody, it has to be on me.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “You’re all at fault here, West. Not just you. I know you want to take the blame, but you’re not the only one who has been treating me badly.”

  Though West did hurt me the most. I won’t admit that though.

  “She’s right.” Kal frowns. “I’m sorry, Roxy. Truly, I am.”

  I nod, letting him know I accept his apology. “I know that you guys hate me for whatever reason, but I am not leaving this team. I told Jensen, Rook, and Cole tonight that I’m staying where I am. I’m not a quitter. And you guys are just going to have to deal with it. I know you don’t like me, but I don’t care. I’m happy here.”

  Well, happy-ish.

  I’d be a lot happier if the guys didn’t hate me, but we’re taking baby steps here.

  I look at the guys and I expect them to protest. I expect them to tell me it’s not too late to change my mind, but they don’t. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say they looked downright happy about the news. But that can’t be so, can it?

  West turns from me to look at Alek. “We need to talk strategy about tomorrow’s game.”

  Seriously? I just threw everything out there and they have nothing to say about it? They’re just going to talk about The Royal Games?

  I turn to head to my room, but West stops me.

  “Princess, get over here,” West demands. “You are participating tomorrow too.”

  My heart races.

  Did I just hear what I thought I did?

  I turn around and see that West and Kal each scoot, making room between them for me to sit down. I feel almost faint as I make my way over to them and I sit down. Kal puts his arm around my back and West continues talking strategy about the game. He even mentions using me because I am the fastest on our team.

  Men make absolutely no sense. How did they go from hating me to… well, not liking me, but also not disliking me either? I’m confused. Now they suddenly want to ignore the fact that I bombed the last time I participated in the games and they want to include me. I want to question it, but I’m scared to remind them. I don’t want to bring it up and have them yell at me again.

  Kal must sense that I am tense because he pulls me tighter against him.

  “I’m sorry, Roxy,” he whispers in my ear.

  At his words, I do relax. He’s already apologized, but I believe his apology now. I lean into him, like I’ve done a hundred times before, and he puts his arm around me, like he always does.

  West glances over at us with a raised eyebrow, but he doesn’t say anything. I’m sure that Kal and I probably seem complicated to others, but to me it’s simple. Our relationship is so easy.

  “What is tomorrow’s game?” I ask.

  “You’ll just have to wait and see.” West beams as he says it, and I can tell he’s excited about whatever it is.

  “Do one of you have to sit out because I’m joining in?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Nah. We all get to play tomorrow.”

  “Except Ian.” Kal draws circles on my arm with his thumb. “Hard to play with a broken leg.”

  Ian huffs. “Next year, it’s on.”

  Everything is back to how it was. And I have no idea what to think. Sure, Ian still can’t stand to be around me and I have no idea what West is thinking but that’s how it’s been for a while. As long as I have Kal and Alek on my side, I can take anything. I just need to know that I’m not alone and I don’t feel alone—not anymore.

  With my head on Kal’s chest, I close my eyes and feel myself drifting off to sleep, even with the conversation going on around me. I suppose almost dying is pretty exhausting.

  I swear, I will never let West Newman live this down. I am going to remind him of this every time we get into an argument, even years from now. That thought alone brings a smile to my face.

  Whether these guys want me or not, I’m not going anywhere. And having a made up mind makes me feel so good.

  “Just rest, Roxy,” Kal whispers to me.

  And I do rest. Probably better than I have in a few nights. I don’t even feel it when somebody carries me to bed.

  Friday, December 15

  Do they love me or hate me?

  I try not to get my hopes up on Friday when I wake up. The guys told me last night that I get to participate in the games today, but that was last night. I fully expect them to tell me they’ve changed their minds.

  When I get up to get ready, I find a green camo t-shirt sitting on my dresser with the words ‘Team West’ written on it. There is also a hand written note on the top.

  Princess,

  My name is the only name that belongs on you.

  —West

  P.S. Wear a skirt. I can’t wait to see the look on Jensen’s face when he’s beaten by a girl wearing a skirt.

  I grin at that.

  Maybe a skirt isn’t practical, but I can work just as well in a skirt as I can in pants. I take a quick shower and putting my hair into space buns. I put on the camo shirt, tying it up in the front because it’s too big. I also put on a black skater skirt and matching Converse.

  I’m giddy as I make my way down the stairs. Once again, I’m excited about the games. Maybe I’m more excited now that I know what to expect. I just hope I don’t let my team down today. I vow to myself that I will try my absolute best today. I won’t let the guys be disappointed in me.

  When I walk into the kitchen, I find West blending up a smoothie. He shuts off the blender when he sees me.

  “Nice.” He nods at my outfit.

  I grin. “I’m ready to kick butt.”

  West pours the smoothie into two separate glasses and hands me one.

  I raise an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I should take any food from you.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you for not trusting me.” He sticks a straw in my drink and his. “I promise you that there are no strawberries in your drink—I would never do that again. Now that I know…”

  Hesitantly, I do take a drink. Despite the fact that West did what he did, I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him. Even though I kind of don’t trust him when it comes to food. There are no strawberries today, of course. Just a mix of banana, blueberries, spinach, almond milk, and some kind of vanilla protein powder.

  “It’s good,” I say.

  He grins. “While you were sleeping last night, the guys and I made a pack.”

  “Uh oh. That sounds dangerous.” I take another big drink of my smoothie.

  “We’ve just all decided to never eat strawberries again. Since you can’t have them, it wouldn’t be fair to eat them in front of you. P
lus, we don’t want any food to get contaminated in the house,” he says.

  My heart swells at his words.

  Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way—maybe it should be too little too late. But I can’t help it. I want to forgive West and the guys. I want us to be a family.

  Unsure what to say, I just drink my smoothie. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and I see Alek and Kal join us in the kitchen.

  “Where is mine?” Kal asks.

  I shrug, looking at West.

  “Everybody is on their own for breakfast,” West grumbles, walking into the living room.

  Kal raises an eyebrow at me, but I don’t know what to say. West probably just feels bad for being so mean to me. He’s just trying to make up for trying to kill me.

  Alek walks over, putting his arm around me. “I’m really glad you’re alive.”

  “Thanks, Alek.” I hug him back.

  I’m not sure what to think—do they love me or hate me? I’m definitely feeling more love right now. I guess almost dying gives me a pass.

  Once Alek backs away, he starts looking through the fridge for something to eat. Kal walks up and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

  “I’m also glad you’re alive,” Kal says.

  “Thanks.” I think.

  Seriously, what am I going to do with these boys? They make absolutely no sense. But they are my team, my friends, and my family. They’re the reason I’m fighting to stay on this team. And today, I will do everything I can to make them proud.

  “Your hair looks cute like that,” Kal says. “You should wear it like that more often.”

  I pat my space buns. “I have been afraid to style my hair because you guys made fun of me for fixing my hair when I first joined the team.”

  Alek nods his head toward where West is sitting on the couch. “That was all West.”

  West dramatically rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything.

  “I’m so excited for today.” Kal rubs his hands together in front of him. “Roxy, you’re going to love the challenge. It’s how they end the games every year—they save the best for last.”

  I can’t help but be excited at Kal’s enthusiasm. I’m also confused, but I’m going to take whatever I can get from these guys. It’s all I’ve wanted since I first joined the team—acceptance. But I know better than to think they’ve fully accepted me. I’ve thought that too many times in the past only to get burned.

  “You know they’re only being nice to you because they nearly killed you.”

  I jump, startled when I hear Ian’s voice. I put a hand to my racing heart, turning to face him. “You scared me.”

  He hobbles past me, not saying another word.

  Well… at least he talked to me, even if it was only to say something sarcastic and cruel. I’ll take that over him ignoring me any day.

  With my smoothie in hand, I head over to the couch and sit beside West. I nearly choke on my smoothie when West smiles at me.

  I put a hand to his forehead.

  He furrows his brows. “What are you doing?”

  “Checking to see if you’re running a fever.”

  He pulls back, giving me a curious look.

  “You’re never nice to me. Either you’re sick with fever or an alien has taken over your body.”

  He snorts, pushing my hand away. “Will you quit that? I can be nice.”

  I give him a pointed look. “Nice like the time you put pink semi-permeant hair dye in my shampoo?”

  “I bought you new shampoo,” he counters.

  I roll my eyes. “Nice like the time you tackled on the beach during our first run?”

  He laughs. “That was funny. You were the one who were being stubborn and wearing your hair down because it was hot. I did you a favor. I know you. You would’ve worn your hair down on our hot runs all summer if I hadn’t tackled you.”

  Maybe he’s right about that one…

  “Then what about—”

  He cuts me off. “The strawberries that I put in your brownies?”

  I grin. “Well… you said it.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “I know.” I lean back against the couch, letting out a long breath. “You apologized yesterday and you don’t have to do it again.”

  He relaxes at my words. Probably because West hates admitting when he’s wrong. Maybe he thought I was going to make him grovel.

  I probably should make him grovel, but I can’t make myself do it. I’ve wanted this for so long that I just want to accept it. I want things to go back to the way they were after we got back from the forest before we got invited to these stupid games. I want my team back—my friends back.

  Kal plops down on the couch between West and I, putting his arm around each of us. “Look at all of us, getting along. It’s cute.”

  West pushes his arm away.

  I laugh. “We’ll see how long it lasts.”

  Ian mumbles something under his breath, reminding me that not everything is like it was. Not even me almost dying can repair the damage I made to our friendship.

  Sighing, I lean my head back.

  Kal pats his lap with his free hand. “Roxy, scoot on over.”

  I roll my eyes, scooting the opposite way of him.

  West laughs. “And I thought you were the smooth one.”

  Kal dramatically puts a hand to his heart. “Shut down. How will I ever get over the rejection of my one true love?”

  I pat his arm. “You’ll be fine. Let’s go win today and I’m sure the girls will be all over you.”

  He grins, standing up from the couch. “You’re right. We should probably head out early.”

  I shake my head at him as he walks toward the front door.

  “He’s getting on my nerves,” West says.

  I hop off the couch. “Let’s get going. I’m excited to see what the challenge is today.”

  West groans. “Is everybody in a good mood?”

  I ignore him as I walk out the front door.

  Today is going to be a good day.

  Unstoppable.

  Paintball—that’s the final challenge.

  Kal was right, I do love this challenge. At least I did love this challenge. Right up until Kal got shot with a paintball. The idiot walked right where I told him not to and he was shot. Now, my partner is gone and I’m on my own. I haven’t been able to find Alek and West. I’ve been looking for them.

  We’re up against Jensen, Cole, and Rook, as well as another team with seven members. The other team is a bit older—they’re probably in their mid-twenties, and they’ve been on a team together for seven years. They’re the ones who took out Kal earlier. I thought they would be a hard team to beat, but I’ve taken out three of them so far.

  When I finish this, I’m going to hurt Kal for not listening to me.

  I walk around the corner and see a guy standing with his back to me. I shoot him, quickly hiding behind the wall in case he’s not alone.

  Four down, six to go.

  Now where the heck are Alek and West?

  I peek around the corner again—there are two guys standing there. It takes me a moment to register the fact that they’re wearing ‘Team West’ shirts. I’m about to join them when I see two guys pop out, taking aim at Alek and West. I shoot at the other guys, but it’s too late. Alek and West are out, along with the other two.

  Now it’s down to just me.

  How am I supposed to take out four people by myself? Especially since Jensen, Cole, and Rook are all still in the game. There is no way I can beat a team. Then again… I did take down six of seven members of the other team.

  I hear the bell, letting me know somebody else it out. The other team is now completely out and it’s down to me versus Jensen, Cole, and Rook. Determined, I hunch over and start my search for them.

  Today, I need to win this. If I do, my team will win against our rivals. It will be difficult, but I feel like if I do, I’ll make up for being such an epic failure in the first challenge.
Plus, I will be able to rub it in the guys’ faces.

  I sneak around the corner and I spot Cole. I don’t even think, I just react, pulling the trigger on my paintball gun. He doesn’t even look up until he feels the hit from the paintball. His eyes widen as he looks up at me. He gives me a nod, turning in defeat.

  Maybe I really can do this. There are only two of them left.

  It would’ve been smart for them to stick together, but knowing Jensen, he probably split up the team to end it quickly. That was his mistake.

  To my right, I see the top of a head walking down a pathway next to me. I put myself flat against the wall, waiting for whoever it is to come around the corner. As soon as they walk around, I shoot, not even getting a look at who it is until I’ve already hit them.

  Rook.

  He grins, like he’s proud of me.

  But that means it’s down to Jensen and me.

  Jensen is good—really good. He won’t be easy to beat. These other shots have simply been pure luck. But with Jensen, it won’t be luck. He’s too good. And now that it’s down to just the two of us he is going to be very vigilant. And I know he says he doesn’t care that I’m a girl and that female agents are just as good as male agents, but he will be embarrassed to lose to a girl.

  Can I really do this? Can I really beat Jensen? Can I make my team proud?

  No matter what, I’ve done well today. Really well. I’ve outlasted Kal, Alek, and West. So I know they’ll be happy with me regardless of how this last showdown goes, but I just want to see the look on their faces when I win.

  A loud sound captures my attention as paint splatters onto a hay bale next to me. I dive behind a hedge, peaking over to see Jensen. He’s got me cornered. And it’s going to come down who can pull the trigger quicker. From the smirk on Jensen’s face, I can tell he thinks he’ll win. But I won’t let him. I can’t. I have to win this.

  Not wanting to cower, I jump up from my hiding spot and I aim and pull the trigger of my paintball gun. Jensen also pulls the trigger, but he pulls half a second after me. My paintball hits him square in the stomach, making him grunt. His paintball barely grazes my shoulder.