The Cruel World Read online

  Maybe you should go.

  Rook leaves me alone on the beach to ‘think’ about his offer. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I have already made up my decision—there is no need to think about it. I sit there, just looking out at the ocean, feeling a little bit better. He might be on our rival team, but he’s a really nice guy. I still can’t believe he just offered me a spot on their team.

  I cover my face with my hands.

  All three of them agreed that they wanted me on their team. That’s insane. Almost as insane as all four of the guys on my team voting for me.

  My heart sinks as I realize that the guys now regret it. And Rook’s team would regret asking me to join them too. I can’t seem to do anything right. I always mess up and say or do the wrong thing. I’m doing them a favor by staying with my team.

  Part of me thinks maybe I should just quit The Royals. Everybody would be better off without me. I could join an elite team and still do good things in the world, but… The Royals is my dream. I’ve worked so hard. I can’t give this up because I failed one challenge. I have to keep trying.

  Somebody sits on the sand beside me. I expect it to be Rook back, but when I look over and see West sitting there instead, I am startled. My heart races, and not in a good way when I see the glare on his face.

  “I came out here to apologize to you.” West’s eyebrows are drawn together and his eyes narrowed.

  If he’s come out here to apologize, he really needs to work on his face. You don’t glare at somebody when you’re apologizing.

  “But then I saw you sitting next to Rook.”

  I swallow hard. “He was just being friendly—saying hi.”

  Of course, West saw Rook and me talking to one another—what else could possibly go wrong in my world? One more thing for West to be mad at me for.

  West’s face turns red. “I heard what he said to you!” He slaps his hands down onto the sand. “Just saying hi? Roxy, I just can’t even stand to look at you right now.”

  When he calls me ‘Roxy,’ it feels like a slap in the face. He only calls me that when he’s really mad at me, which has only been once before. And that was when I got Kal shot.

  “I told him no.” My voice breaks and a tear rolls down my cheek.

  “After you told him no, you told him you’d think about it.” West’s voice is so low he practically growls the words at me.

  I don’t know what to say to him because he’s right. I did tell Rook I would think about it. But when I told him that, I had already made up my mind. I just said it to be nice. But West doesn’t know that and if I told him, I’m not sure he would believe me.

  My chest aches, so I rub at it, hoping it’ll feel better.

  “I already told you, your tears don’t do anything to me.” West shakes his head, like he’s disgusted over the fact that I’m crying, but I can’t help it. If I could stop the tears, I would. I don’t want to be crying in front of West, of all people.

  I wipe at my cheeks. “I was going to tell him no again. I don’t want to change teams. You guys are my family. I could never leave you.”

  West shoulders relax, but only a little bit. “Then why didn’t you tell him that?”

  “I tried to.” I sniff. “But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Rook is always so nice to me. I was going to pretend to think about it and tell him that I decided to stay with you guys the next time I see him.”

  He tenses back up, letting me know that was the wrong thing to say. “Maybe you should go.”

  My head snaps back as I look at him. “What did you say?”

  “I said…” he takes a deep breath, talking louder, “Maybe you should go.”

  I try to breathe, but I can’t.

  Does West really want me to leave? Does he hate me that much? I thought we were becoming friends. Maybe more than friends, but I have been trying not to think about that.

  I open my mouth to say something, but a sob comes out instead. One sob after another, as I try to catch my breath between, but it doesn’t work. My whole body hurts, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

  West doesn’t want me on his team. Neither does Alek, Kal, or Ian. They’d all be better off without me.

  I’m not good enough to be a Royal. My mom was right.

  I’ve vaguely aware that there’s a hand on my arm, but I can’t bring myself to care. West’s lips are moving, but I can’t hear a word over my own sobs.

  Why do I have to have a breakdown in front of freaking West Newman? He’s the only guy on the team who hates me more than Ian—and at least Ian has an excuse to hate me. West hates me for not reason whatsoever.

  One second, I am sitting on the sand, the next I feel a sense of weightlessness as I am lifted into West’s arms. I start to protest that I’m too heavy to carry, but he seems steady enough. I bury my face into his shoulder as he carries me up the beach, toward the house where we’re staying.

  “What am I going to do with you?” He kisses my forehead.

  One minute he’s yelling at me, telling me I need to leave the team, the next he’s carrying me to the house and kissing my forehead. I have no idea how I’m supposed to react to that and the only thing it does it make me more confused.

  West reaches for the backdoor and I tense up, not wanting to face the other guys—not when I look like this. I’m a complete mess right now.

  “The others are gone. They went to a party down the beach,” he says, as if he knows what I’m thinking. Maybe he does.

  I relax again, letting him carry me into the house.

  West doesn’t say anything else as he carries me up the stairs and into my room. He lays me down on my bed and sits beside me, just gently rubbing my back. Somewhere on our walk here, I stopped sobbing so hard, but the tears are still coming. I close my eyes, just wanting the ache in my chest to go away.

  I expect West to leave, but he stays by my side, just rubbing my back. I have no idea how, but with him there with me, I find myself drifting off to sleep.

  Wednesday, December 13

  Sitting this one out.

  The next morning, I am lying on my bed by myself. I’m still wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday, but my shoes are off and I’m covered with a blanket. My heart warms as I remember West carrying me in here and staying with me until I went to sleep. But then my stomach sinks as I remember the conversation we had before that.

  West told me I should leave the team. And I know him—I know he said it out of anger, but it still stings.

  West Newman is impulsive. He says things without thinking, and all I can hope is that he didn’t really mean what he said. Because I don’t want to leave this team.

  As I go to grab clothes to wear for the day, I find a new ‘Team West’ t-shirt sitting on the top of my dresser. This one is pink instead of the black like we wore yesterday. It makes me wonder if all the guys are wearing pink because we all wore the same shirt yesterday.

  I grab a quick shower, thankful that the water heater in this house seems to be a lot better than the one in our condo. I get to take a long, hot shower. I blow dry my hair and quickly get dressed for the day. I don’t bother putting my hair up because I know I’m not playing in the games today. The guys don’t want me to, but even if they did, I’d still sit this one out. I don’t want the guys to lose because of me. If they’re going to have a shot, they need to do it without me.

  When I come downstairs, I find that all the guys are wearing a pink shirt. Alek doesn’t look too happy about it, if the grimace on his face is any indication. But if anybody can rock a pink shirt, it’s the four of them. They look good.

  “I can’t believe we have to wear these stupid pink shirts.” Alek pulls at his shirt, like he’s wishing he could yank it from his body. Truly, I’m sure the girls watching the competition today wouldn’t mind if Alek went shirtless. Heck, I wouldn’t mind. I train with him every day and I know how good he looks without a shirt.

  Kal grins, running his hands over his abs. “I th
ink I look pretty good in pink.”

  I laugh, shaking my head.

  Kal could rock any color as long as his shirt is as tight as it is.

  He turns when he hears me laughing and winks at me. “Roxy steals the show, as always. She’s prettier than all of us.”

  I grin, walking up next to him. “I don’t know about that. You are a very pretty man, Kal.”

  Alek snickers. Kal punches him in the arm.

  West yells at everybody, and then we head out for the challenge. Kal, Alek, and I head out the back door, walking down the beach. West and Ian drive. I have no idea where we’re going, but I imagine it’s somewhere on the sand since West is driving Ian—it’s kind of hard to walk through the sand in crutches. I’ve seen Ian try and fail epically. Though it was hysterical to watch Alek give him a piggyback ride back to the condo. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.

  Kal seems to be completely back to normal today. He even holds my hand as we walk down the beach. Alek is in a better mood too—he jokes around with me and tells me about his epic night. Apparently there were a lot of hot girls at the party last night—a lot of local girls.

  “But none of them were as pretty as you,” Kal says.

  I snort, rolling my eyes.

  “Suck up,” Alek teases.

  I laugh, loving that I’ve got my friends back. I’m so glad yesterday’s anger was temporary.

  “What is today’s challenge?” I ask.

  Alek grins widely, his eyes lighting up, so I know whatever it is, it’s something he loves.

  “Basically… Fight Club on the beach,” Kal answers.

  Ah… that’s why Alek is so excited. He loves fighting. Fight Club nights are his favorite night of the week. Even after training for hours with the team, and extra hours with me, he still never misses his chance to go. This is what Alek excels at—hand to hand combat. Not that he’s not good at everything else too, this is just his passion.

  As we approach the crowd ahead, a few girls give me dirty looks. I realize it’s because Kal is holding my hand. He must realize it too because he drops it quickly, making me laugh.

  “What?” Kal asks.

  I motion to the hand he dropped. “I thought it was true love.”

  “I’ll hold your hand if you make out with me later.” He winks.

  I wrinkle my nose. “Gross, Kal.”

  He shrugs. “Your loss.”

  I remember the kiss Kal and I shared at the hospital in California. It was a good kiss, but that was it. Kal and I have never brought it up, even though I told him that I had feelings for him. Part of me wants to bring it up—we should talk about it—but at the same time I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have right now. When Ian brought up his feelings for me, it ruined absolutely everything.

  When Kal said that today’s challenge is basically Flight Club on the beach, he meant that it was literally on the beach. There is a section of sand that is roped off where everybody is going to be fighting. I’ve never fought anybody in the sand—other than that one time West tackled me when I first joined the team, but I guess I didn’t try that hard to fight back then.

  I spot Rook standing near Jensen and Cole. He lifts up a hand and waves at me. I wave back to be polite, but I still feel guilty for doing so. West really laid into me last night over what happened with Rook and I’m scared to even be friendly with him anymore. Cold West I can’t handle. But then I think about how he carried me to my room. I remember the kiss on the forehead.

  Why does West have to be so confusing?

  Kal rubs his hands together. “The best part of a challenge on the beach is all the girls in bikinis.”

  I push his shoulder. “Uh, no girls in bikinis talk around me.”

  He winks at me. “Don’t worry—these girls don’t compare to you.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave a hand at him.

  Kal smirks as he walks off. I’m not even sure where Alek went, he ditched us while I was off in my own world in my head. I just stand close to the makeshift boxing ring, eager for the fighting to start. As I’m standing there, Cole walks up beside me.

  “Hey.”

  I look up at him. “Uh, hi.”

  He looks around the crowd, like he’s waiting for West to come out and punch him at any given moment. Once he’s done scanning, he turns to me.

  “I heard Rook talked to you about joining our team.”

  I expected this—that Rook wanted me on the team but the other guys didn’t.

  Not knowing what to say, I chew on the side of my lip and nod.

  He surprises me by grinning. “Good. I think you’d make a great addition.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

  “Absolutely. You’re a great agent.” His onyx eyes sparkle as his eyes meet mine. “We’d be so lucky to have you.”

  My jaw drops open and I’m not sure what to say to him. Should I even try to say something?

  He rubs a hand along the scruff on his jaw. “Don’t look so surprised.”

  “Did you not see my performance yesterday?” I ask, shaking my head. “West doesn’t even want me to compete today because he’s worried I’ll embarrass the team more.”

  “West is an idiot.”

  I grin, thinking he’s probably a little right about that.

  “Just think about it.” Cole shifts his glance.

  I look up and see West helping Ian get down to the beach on his crutches.

  “That’s my cue.” Cole turns and winks at me. “See you later, Roxy.”

  I lift up a hand and wave at him, completely confused by what just happened. I wasn’t supposed to be invited to a new team. I’m the failure of my team—the agent they’re stuck with. But these other guys are volunteering to take me on. It just doesn’t make sense.

  As I turn to look toward West again, a figure steps in front of me.

  My mother.

  Great.

  Just what I needed to make my day better.

  “Hey, Mom.” I try to muster up a smile, but I’m certain it looks more like a grimace.

  “Roxy.” Her smile looks equally as forced as mine, so I don’t feel too bad about it.

  I fold my hands in front of me. “So, uh, how are you?”

  She sighs, and I can already tell it’s not a good sigh. I’m about to get a speech from her—one that will inevitably ruin my day.

  “Your father and I are just so disappointed in you.” She shakes her head. “You’re such an embarrassment to us.”

  I stand there, pressing my lips into a tight line, listening like the good daughter I am.

  “I hate to say this Roxy, I really do. I know The Royals is your dream, but I think your team would be better off without you. You drag them down.”

  I know that. I don’t need her to tell me that.

  I clear my throat. “Nice to see you, Mom. I’ve got to go though.”

  Turning, I walk away from her, needing to be anywhere but near her. I spot Rook in the distance and he waves me toward him. I don’t want to make West mad, but I’d rather be yelled at by West than spend one more second with my mother.

  I was going to say no!

  We won. Or, I should say, they won. I had nothing to do with today’s win. I was just a bystander to the whole thing. My mom was probably tickled by the fact that I was sidelined for today’s festivities. She probably thinks the guys hate me. She would be right. Well, partially right. Kal and Alek have no problem with me. West and Ian on the other hand hate breathing the same air as me.

  On the way back to the house after the challenge, I am worn out. It’s a warm December day and we stayed outside in the sun for about six hours straight. All I want to do is shower and go to bed.

  The guys seem to all be in good moods, other than West. He keeps glaring at me from the front seat. He’s probably mad that I stood and talked with Rook for a long time today. I hate that he’s taking it so personally. It wasn’t even about Rook. I only talked to him because I needed to get away from my mom. If I
’m being honest, Rook made me feel a lot better.

  When we get to the house, I fully intend to head up stairs and put on my pajamas, but I should know better. When does anything ever go my way?

  “Before we all go do our own thing, we have to make an appearance tonight,” West says.

  I’m not the only one who groans—no doubt Kal and Alek already had plans to meet up with some girls. As for me, all I wanted was some good reruns, ice cream, and maybe a bath bomb.

  “Dress to impress. We’re going to a dinner party with a bunch of other Royals.”

  I frown. Great. Just what I needed—another opportunity to accidentally run into my parents.

  “Princess,” West says.

  I turn to him. “Hmm?”

  He crosses his arms over his chest. “You only have an hour to be ready. You better hurry.”

  I roll my eyes, turning to head up the stairs. He knows I don’t take long to get ready. But also… if I have to ‘dress to impress,’ I need time to do my hair and makeup, so I can’t stand there and fight with him about it.

  An hour later, I slip on my shoes, practically running out my door.

  Tonight, I’m wearing one of my favorite black dresses—it has a lot of lace and ruffles. I have never gotten the opportunity to wear it because, well, I never go out. I’m excited that this week has given me the chance to wear all these beautiful clothes I own.

  When I get downstairs, I find West sitting at the island in the kitchen. Nobody else is ready yet, so I am glad nobody was waiting for me.

  “Hey,” I say.

  West turns around to look at me. He opens his mouth, presumably to say something, but he just looks at me with his mouth open.

  My cheeks grow warm at his attention.

  “You look… nice.” His voice sounds nonchalant as he looks away from me. But I know West—his reaction wasn’t because I look ‘nice.’